In conjuction with my change of new skin, I believe that I want change in my life starting from this moment.

Reason that I choose this skin is because of the texture. It looks like a notepad which show the

Integriti
Excellence
Wisdom

Like Taylor's motto.

As we learn, of course we need to have notes. Jotted down notes is one of important step to be smart. Therefore, here is the notes of my life. Notes from lesson of my life.

Template yang lama sudah genap setahun. Aku masih ingat lagi saat itu. Dan saat itu bergetar jiwa dan imanku. Hati yang barangkali dikuasai nafsu. Namun itu perkara setahun lalu. Dan aku jua mahu melupakannya. Usah dikenang perkara lalu. Teruslah mara untuk maju.

Ku kira, sejak bertukar tempate tu,saat mulanya kehidupan di Taylors. menghadap saat susah senang kehidupan di ICPU, pahit manisnya, dan manisnya bila ku jumpa ~T.A.R.B.I.Y.A.H~ dan ukhuwah yang manis sekali di situ.

Sayang sekali, aku terlupa untuk buat screenshot, mengabadikan template yang lama itu. Tak apela. biar ku simpan dalam ingatan. Template yang penuh kenangan.

Kini, kulit baru. harapan baru. sinar baru. Aku mahu memberi pencerahan yang baru. Mulakan azam yang baru walau tahun baru belum tiba.

Nota-nota kehidupanku, moga rententan hidupku dapat diabadikan di sini menjadi pedoman.

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lama betul tak update blog. aku sekarang ni, mengalami krisis diri. dimana pencapaian menurun, produktiviti pun begitu. aku pun tak tau mana pergi semangat itu. mana pergi jiwa itu. mana pergi amalan itu? semangat yang membuat aku hidup. hidup dan BERGERAK.
minda aku seakan kaku. aku biar hidup ku begitu. hatiku kadang2 dihinggap pilu dan aku tahu aku perlu melakukan sesuatu.

aku kini?
entah. ilmu tanpa amal ibarat pohon tak berbuah. sebut pasal ilmu, kurasakan sejak sebulan lalu, terlalu banyak rasanya input yang aku dapat tapi terperangkap dalam diri. ilmu itu satu amanah dan aku seakan buntu bagaimana dapat aku melaksanakan amanah yang satu ini. 'membebaskan' ilmu yang terperap dalam buku nota dan pengalaman hidup yang mengajar diri ini jua.bermula dari macam2 program, FCR, daurah, program sana program sini, ceramah sana ceramah sini. bandingkan pula mereka yang jarang2 ke majlis ilmu. tidakkah nanti aku akan ditanya? apakah aku sudah berusaha menyampaikan setiap satu ilmu yang aku perolehi? sejauh mana pulak aku beramal dengan ilmu.

harapan mungkin tinggal harapan. dan khayalan itu hanya menyesakkan fikiran.

aku mahu bergerak melakukan sesuatu.
kenapa lembik menerima ujian ini?
belum lagi diuji dengan hal yang lain.
bukankah aku pemuda harapan islam?
mana perginya roh itu?

Mafhum hadis nabi s.a.w., sampaikanlah walaupun seayat.(ke sehuruf? aku kurang pasti. tapi lebih kurang begitulah. yang penting pointnya SAMPAIKAN)

setakat ni aku rasa dah beratus2 ayat dah aku dengar. tapi beku. aku mahu manfaatkan ilmu yang hampir berhabuk di hujung buku. menilai sebanyak ilmu yang ditimba dan sebanyak mana pula aku beramal dengan ilmu2 tersebut. aku cukup takut mengenangkan ilmu itu satu amanah. sebab, memang ruang dan peluang aku mendapatkan ilmu(lebih-lebih lagi ilmu agama) agak mudah, dan aku tahu satu cara untuk dimanfaatkan ilmu itu ialah melalui tulisan.

cuma masa perlu diperuntukkan sedemikiannya namun belum terdaya melakukannya. separuh hari masaku terbang dengan kanak2 riang yang menjadi harapanku sebagai saham akhirat. mengajar dan mendidik itu bukan mudah. walaupun begitu masa suntuk apakah itu alasan semata? Ilmu itu satu amanah. amanah tetap amanah! yang pasti kekuatan sedang dibina dari diri yang merasa lemah.

ya Allah bantu aku kembali bernafas dalam jiwa itu..

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Tahu tak kenapa penyelok saku sanggup mencopet dompet dan pemecah rumah sanggup masuk walaupun penghuninya berada di rumah untuk mengambil handphone, laptop dan pelbagai gadget elektrik yang kecil. Tahu tak kenapa pencuri kenderaan sanggup mencuri motosikal, kereta dan kadang-kadang basikal walaupun di depan Pasar Raya yang sememangnya sentiasa ramai orang.

Sebabnya mudah sahaja kerana barang-barang yang mereka curi itu samada dompet, handphone, laptop, PSP, kereta, motor dan basikal tu ada NILAI. Kalau tak ada NILAI seperti daun kering, sampah, kertas pasti Sang Pencuri ni tak akan mengambil risiko untuk mencuri.

NILAI ini tak semua orang akan rasa dan menghargai-Nya walaupun benda-benda ini bersama kita setiap masa setiap saat. Yang kita cuma tahu NILAI 3 kat Negri Sembilan sebab banyak barang-barang murah. NILAI ini hanya kita rasa apabila kita kehilangan-Nya.

Kita tidak akan merasa NILAI kesihatan semasa kita sihat tetapi apabila Doktor diagnos kita sakit barulah kita merasa kehilangan dan menyesal kerana tak jaga kesihatan semasa sihat. Kita tak pernah NILAI kasih sayang dan pengorbanan IBUBAPA semasa hidup kerana kita sudah bersama mereka mungkin puluhan tahun bah pepatah "alah teggal jadi biasa". Tetapi rasa kesunyian dan kehilangan serta menyesal kerana tidak BERHIMAT dengan terbaik kepada IBUBAPA akan dirasai setelah mereka masuk ke lianglahat meninggalkan kita selama-lamanya.

Kita hanya dapat merasa NILAI kekayaan apabila kita jatuh miskin setelah membelanjakan duit kita secara tidak terurus. Kita juga merasa NILAI kuasa apabila kuasa kita diambil orang atau tewas dalam pilihanraya seperti tewasnya BN KEDAH, SELANGOR dan PENANG kepada PAKATAN.

Dan lebih besar lagi NILAI iman. Syaitan telah berjanji kepada ALLAH yang mereka tidak akan tidur dan berusaha mencuri IMAN dari manusia dari mula manusia dicipta sehinggalah hari kiamat. Pencuri IMAN ini lagi hebat dari pencuri dompet, handphone, laptop dan segala harta di dunia. NILAI iman hanya kita boleh rasai di akhirat dan seandainya kita biarkan IMAN kita dicuri oleh Pencuri Iman tiada jalan kembali untuk mendapatkan IMAN yang telah hilang.

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Hari ni hari pertama aku jadi cikgu!

hmm..secara rasmi ke? entah.

pagi-pagi lagi kakak aku dah ajak pergi sekolah. Dia baru je ambik alih jadi guru ganti untuk 2 hari. hari ni masuk hari ketiga dia. Aku, terkebil-kebil je bila dia ajak cepat siap! Dia ni biar betul? Suka-suka dia je nak pass2 jawatan. ingat ni sekolah bapak dia punyer ke..haizz..

aku pun tak semena ikut je la. blur..memang blurr. jadi, ikutlah pergi sekolah. ajar budak darjah satu. mula-mula rasa, alahai ..apa nak buat ni..aku mana ada pengalaman. aku? mengajar? aku takde adik. skill melayan budak-budak nih memang aku takde bakat. tapi layan je la.

ok. aku menulis berdasarkan pengalaman, apa yang dirasa.

macam2 kerenah budak-budak ni. ya Allah hari ni memang separuh hari. jaga kelas 1 Bakalawi. aku jaga dengan kakak aku. itu ada kakak aku..kalau takde, agaknye macamana la..

mula-mula ajar pasal bentuk. pengamatan aku, lemah..ada budak cepat tangkap. ada budak kena terang 3-4 kali. sabar, memang perlu sabar. itu baru seorang. lepas tu, benda tu diulang-ulang benda yang sama kat 4-5 orang yang lain. perhatian pulak, tak dapat nak bahagi sama rata. ada budak, macam terasa dia tak diberi perhatian. aku rasa macam nak bahagi je badan aku nih kalau boleh. ada jugak yang macam berebut nak perhatian..sampai aku pun terkeluarlah bahasa aku.."bawak bersabar yang berhormat..." haha..konpem diorang tak faham.

setakat ni, kesabaran belum teruji. cuma tekak perit sikit. sebab kena guna suara banyak. budak-budak ada yang dengar cakap, ada jugak susah nak dengar cakap. ada jugak yang aku tak tau dia faham tak apa yang aku cakap. aku tak tau macamana nak ajar, kalau budak tu tak reti membaca. kalau tak tau baca, jangan katalah nak faham. kalau huruf pun ingat tak ingat. adoii..cabaran-cabaran..ajar melayu boleh tahan lagi.

masuk english, satu perkataan pun susah nak faham. even dah aku cuba translate, pun susah nak faham. mana silapnya?

masa ajar pasal bentuk, kadang-kadang berperang dengan masa. aku terfikir sementara. patut aku terangkan bukan hanya bagi jawapan. yang pentik budak tu faham. mula-mula aku memang cuba nak bagi faham. yang melengkung tu, curved. yang lorek tu flat surface, kalau yang tajam tu namanya bucu a.k.a edge. (bahagian-bahagian dalam bentuk) ini tak, aku rasa, sebab kekangan masa, kadang-kadang aku cenderung bagi jawapan terus tanpa tunggu budak tu berfikir, memahami. iyelah. kalau berjaya, aku berjaya fahamkan satu-dua orang budak. nak tunggu lagi 10 budak betul-betul faham, perlukan masa lebih.kadang-kadang memang akan ada budak yang tercicir. ada yang lampi. lambat. menulis, mengeja pun lambat. belum masuk nak faham. yang dia tau, itu jawapan dia. tapi apa maksud jawapan tu, susah nak pastikan dia faham.

cabaran..

walau darjah satu. walau hanya ajar mengeja, menulis, membilang. walau apa pun, aku tau ini tugas mulia. aku tau, aku kena fikir jangka masa panjang. aku tau, nampak macam remeh, tapi hakikatnya ilmu yang aku ajar ni lah bekalan aku bila dah mati. ilmu tu akan diorang guna sampai dorang mati. ajar membaca. yes. dorang akan membaca sampai bila-bila. jadi usaha tu takkan sia-sia. insyAllah. cuma perlukan kesabaran n passion.

tugas ni memang mencabar. mencabar minda, ketahanan emosi dan jugak fizikal. lama kena berdiri.susah nak duduk. nak pantau satu persatu. setiap budak perangai berbeza.

ada jugak aku terfikir, setakat ajar mengeja, membilang, tak perlukan ijazah pun. sayang sangatlah kalau sapa2 yang ada ijazah bidang yang berbeza dari pendidikan, tapi masyarakat tak dapat manfaat dari ilmu yang dia belajar tu. aku rasa, memang orang tu takkan rugi pun. contoh, kalau dia belajar undang-undang ke lepas tu tak de keje, jadi cikgu, dia jadi cikgu tak rugi. tapi masyarakat dan negara tu rugi. sebab ilmu dia tak tersalur. entahlah aku rasa masyarakat, negara akan kerugian.

solusi? hanya guru yang ada lulusan pendidikan je jadi cikgu. yang bidang lain, patut dimanfaatkan. barulah negara dapat begerak maju. kalau tidak nanti ada ketidakseimbangan lah. belajar fizik, kimia, bio, tapi ilmu tu tak dapat disumbang balik kepada masyarakat untuk dijana. aku cuma tak suka sistem yang mana, bila graduan belajar bidang lain masa universiti, bila tamat jadi benda lain. ye, aku tau keadaan meruncing. sebab tu jadi macam ni. tapi aku terasa macam masalah ni patut dikaji. supaya masyarakat dapat manfaat yang lebih.

wallahu'alam. sekian coretan kali ini.

pengajaran.
aku kena belajar lebih lagi.

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lagi satu, bila kita mintak sesuatu, tapi belum dapat lagi, yang itu kita kena lagi syukur. namanya syukran. terima kasih kat Allah sebab tak dapat lagi. tanda Allah sayang kat kita lebih sebab Dia nak dengar suara kita meminta-minta pada-Nya. tanda Allah nak tingkatkan makam(darjat) kita.

maksudnya kat sini, kalau tak dapat apa yang kita hajatkan tu, kena bawak banyak BERSABAR sebab Allah sebenarnya nak kasi benda yang lebih baik bagi kita.

ada 3 benda yang Rasulullah ada sebut pasal benda ni. ni abah yang cakap la. dalil dan sumber yang sepenuhnya aku pun tak tau.
huhu..

pertama, bila kita mintak, Allah bagi dan2 tu jugak.
kedua, kita mintak tapi Allah tak bagi lagi apa yang kita mintak tu, Allah simpan.
ketiga, Allah tak bagi apa yang kita mintak, tapi Dia ampunkan dosa kita, kalau ada bencana yang akan menimpa kita, Dia jauhkan.

agaknya ini semua kelebihan doa tu sendiri.

pastu, abah ada kata lagi, nanti ada jugak manusia yang kat akhirat sana, menyesal. menyesal kenapa dulu kat dunia dia mintak macam2, dan dapat dan2 tu. dia menyesal dia mintak macam2. sebab dekat akhirat lagi macam2 yang ada.

ada jugak macam tu ke..getus hatiku.


bila dengar benda nih..seakan terpujuk dengan kata-kata Abah..
yelah..keadaan aku sekarang nih..hanya Allah je tau macamana rasanya..

tapi, ada jugak benda-benda lain yang Abah cakap, aku rasa terpukul. err..dari segi perangai kat rumah..hanya Allah je la yang tau..huhu..tak perlu diceritakan di sini..

abah kata, kalau kuat dakwah, tak boleh pakaian je hebat. perangai pun kena jaga. dalam dan luar.

masalah aku, aku memang selalu rasa, memang bermasalah soal dalaman. hanya Allah je tau. luar nampak 'bagus' tapi dalaman..ya Allah..

lagi pasal result..

76% where is another 4% ? check n balance.
time management is very important.

if you absent class, it means your time management is not good.(abah tak kata bad. huhu..sunggu postive abahku ini..)

you fail to manage your time. ~yea... thats right. huhu..i skipped class to do my assignment.~

the most important thing is to learn the important thing.
do the important thing in your time management.
kadang2 u banyak masa, tapi u tak belajar benda yang penting untuk dipelajari. itu yang silap.
lagi, kena banyak baca ratib, zikir, ingat Allah. tengok macam sekolah tahfiz tu, hafal quran. kenapa? sebab nak bagi otak tajam. asah otak bagi tajam supaya bila dalam kelas, dengar sekali je dah terus masuk kepala.itu guna dia.

room for improvement! failure is the starting point to success!
semua ujian ni ada hikmah dia. ada sebabnya. fikir apa kekurangan diri. muhasabah balik.

nak jadi orang berjaya, kena ada goal tinggi. plan apa nak buat.

sekadar perkongsian.. kalau aku mati hari ni, harap ada yang dapat ambik iktibar dari perkongsian ni. ilmu untuk hari ni yang ciput tapi aku harap bermanfaat dan satu amanah untuk aku sampaikan kepada manusia lain.(teringat akan saudara seislamku mikael a.k.a michael jackson yang telah kembali ke rahmatullah di usia 50 tahun,semalam. semoga rohmu berada dalam rahmat Ilahi)

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terima kasih ya Allah untuk hari ini, hari yang lepas dan yang akan datang.
terima kasih kerana memilih aku untuk diuji
terima kasih ya Allah kerana masih mengasihiku
walau selalu aku terlupa pada Mu
Dunia ini tempat ujian.
Tempat diuji sejauh mana keimanan.
Kadangkala terbit di hati,
mengapa aku tak terasa seperti diuji?
kali ini benar aku terasa diuji.
andai ujian ini membuahkan iman,
andai ujian ini membuatkan taqwa,
andai ujian ini membuatkan amal
aku terima seadanya.
aku terima dugaan dari Mu
moga aku menjadi kuat
lisan itu bukan hanya sekadar berkata
kira kini aku benar-benar diuji
sungguh, aku mohon untuk terus bergantung dan berharap padaMu
jangan kau palingkan hatiku selain Mu

i just want to smile. Thank you Allah for this gift.
I should not be sad. I should be happy with it.

my Lord, Thank you for choosing me. =)

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ya Allah..
da lame betul ak tak muhasabah diri..

patut risau ni. saat bila hati hilang gerun dengan azab Allah. tak terasa gerun..ahh...macamana boleh jadi begini? mungkinkah hatiku sudah gelap dari cahaya?

patut rasa gerun bila hati tidak gerun lagi!

entahla.
masa tu ikut suka hati je nak buat ape. yezz. tido. terasa malas. ya Allah.mcamana boleh termalas pulak nih. naseb Allah bg peluang lagi nak bangun pagi ni. kalau tak, termati? wallahualam . ada plak bleh termati..haizz..berada di alam yang lagi satu tu, menyeramkan.lagi2 semalam, aku tengok ada buku warna pink-purple tapi tajuk dia "sudahkah anda bersedia menghadapi sakratul maut?" belum lagi baca, aku dah tertido. hampeh!

dia once klau dah terbuat 'dosa' , terasa sangat2 tercemarnya...rasa sangat kotor. tobat, tobat. tapi tak terasa sangat. then terbuat lagi. benda yang sama. aduhh...lemahnya iman aku..

aku ingat lagi abah pernah marah dalam tazkirah dia masa one the way to casa.
"macamana adik ni nak jadi dai'e, nak dakwah orang, kalau subuh pun subuh gajah. tinggal jemaah? Allah pun ada cakap dalam Quran, jangan sampai kamu menyuruh orang buat baik, tapi kamu lupa akan diri sendiri.."

lemah

melihat teman2 yang bermuhasabah kembali, menilai diri, dan aku? masih seperti ini..

ahh..malu!

malu dengan Allah

nak buat baik. tapi takde mood nak buat baik. mood aku dah rosak dengan satu jahiliyah. sebenarnya banyak je jahiliyah lain. cuma mungkin tak berapa sedar.

terus mood nak buat baik, mungkin terhilang sebentar. harapnya hanya sementara.

iman bergelora.

kenapa asal dekat rumah, terus 'karakter' itu bertukar. kenapa???

rumah bersalahkah?

tidak. aku yang bersalah. rumah itu terlalu nikmat. dan aku tak bersyukur dengan nikmat. patut dah dapat nikmat makin bertambah taat!sebab syukur atas nikmat tu bermakud menggunakan nikmat pancaindera untuk mentaati perintah-Nya. itu baru bersyukur namanya! hmm..casa jua nikmat bagiku. lebih2 lagi, bilik single. memang 'nikmat' sampai subuh berkali2 terlajak. lemahnya...ya Allah..T_T

ah..
ini kufur nikmat namanya!

semalam terpalit rasa malu lagi.

I shouldnt push that person just the sake of my need.

neh.. again

damn it.

take it as experience.
past is past. a lesson to learn.

what am I doin now? keep reminding myself, dont waste time, but yet again and again i did it.

your final exam is just two days more, Qur. Can't you be patient and struggle for the very last time? FOCUS!!

me n myself. the reason of this post, is just a muhasabah. evaluating myself. and also, hope people that read it also start to recheck themselve. how i used to read other people's post that remind me how i must muhasabah.

for the exam I knew i should prepare. I must prepare. hey..what about death that is certain. never think to prepare for it? yeah it is certain but uncertain regarding when is it. if I knew much easier to prepare for it.

uncertain things ya..?
talking with one friend. by my own start to realize, how this dusty world is just a play. A stage where you should play your role. why i should worry for my future where Allah had written for me? He owns this Kingdom. He could anything to be possible. Even, without my effort He could make it. He don't need me either but I need Him the Most to survive in this world. yeah. what should be worried? why? stress-free. after all, why I should be so worried? In fact, I should be more worried that my DEATH is certain and I don't prepare for it. I should be more worried that what I'm doin right now is not enough to save me from HELL.

there are few friends of mine ask,
what happen? with my status..
"aku terasa sangat malu" - i feel so ashamed-

yeah. i feel ashamed of myself. for so much things that I EXPECT from myself.

one of them said, its a good thing if that can make me a better person. what eva happens don't blame yourself.

one side, i cant accept, but another way around maybe i really should blame myself. Depends on situation.

if I got bad result, should I blame the question damn hard or should I blame I'm the one that not working damn hard or damn smart?

after all, dont ever forget if i have done everything I could, the only thing i should consider is, everything on His hand whether to make it or not.

HOWEVER, if I done nothing, then I shouldnt whipping. it's my own fault. I'm the one that not working hard or smart enough to reach the expectation. yes i admit. i done nothing. nothing at all. ask bout effort? my effort? only God knows.
I believe anything I have right now, none of it are my effort other than His Bless. He just too good to me, and I'm not good enough to Him. He give me almost everything I need, but I don't ever show how grateful I am.

ahh..starting to criticize myself badly..

who else should criticize me if not me?
but then should i until this stage? no comments. all this just full of emotion. I'm in emotional state right now. I dont think there are much more rational in this writing. Somehow, I lost my rationality.sometimes, I start to take it negatively. please positive me.I need to be positive!

well, this where a space for improvement. You don't want to be a damn person right?

even in hadis stated you shud be better.
YOU MUST BE BETTER!

ya Allah..jangan kau biar aku penat di tengah gelangang perjuangan..

penat menjadi baik?
jangan...
jangan biar aku rasa begitu.
jangan biar aku rasa penat mengejar redha-Mu.
jangan biar aku rasa malas untuk beribadah kepada Mu..

regarding today, there r such thing a relief in the middle of day but then trouuuublesome,

i start with a bad day. a bad day that i can't have khusyuk in my solah. a bad day where i can't feel the meaning of my solah. feel like useless. feel like i want to pray 100 times until i got the khusyuk.

damn.

what's in my mind?
i better stop now and say no more rather than continue it and make my words meaningless.

*reason to publish this post is hoping someone could boost my iman. boost my mind. however,i'm not hoping more than I hope Allah give me strength to help myself. Is there only hope?

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Mengulas tentang buku Pemilik Cintaku Setelah Allah dan Rasul

Penulis: Fatimah Syarha Mohd Noordin
Penerbit: Telaga Biru Sdn. Bhd
Cetakan: 1, Mac 2009
Tebal: 91 halaman
Nilai: RM12.00 SM / RM14.00 Sabah & Sarawak

Bingkisan Qani'ah buat suaminya

Aku mencari-cari idea, cara untuk memberi ganjaran kepada diri aku kerana berjaya melakukan sesuatu yang ingin dicapai. Aku bertanya naqibah(mentor), apa yang boleh aku buat untuk ganjarkan diri aku kerana berjaya mencapai 'target' dalam mutaba'ah amal*. Perkara itu perkara yang tidak mudah untuk berlaku, bagi keadaan aku pada masa ini, tapi berjaya dilakukan atas izin Allah. Aku rasa gembira kerana berjaya dan merasakan perlunya 'reward' supaya sebagai motivasi diri. Dia mensarankan, buat sesuatu yang kita minat buat dan ia dapat tambahkan lagi keimanan . Misalnya, dengan membaca buku yang kita minati.Aku tidak dapat membayangkan untuk membaca sebuah buku pada tika dan saat ini kerana kesibukan yang mencengkam diri. Namun perancangan Allah itu begitu cantik. Ditakdirkan, aku dipertemukan dengan sebuah buku yang judulnya begitu menarik perhatian aku.

Bukunya tak tebal, tak nipis sangat. Sedang-sedang saja. Lagi pulak penulisnya telah menulis satu karya yang cukup indah dan sarat dengan unsur tarbiyah sebelum ini. Membuatkan aku teringin membaca. Kesibukan memang mencengkam diri dan aku berkira-kira adakah perlu sekarang atau lain kali. Namun kerana merasakan diri ini 'layak' mendapat ganjaran kerana 'accomplished target', aku meluangkan waktu untuk membacanya juga dan menurut kata hati. Aku kira 'pelaburan' aku itu tidak sia-sia. Malah mengobarkan semangat untuk melangkah berjuang menegakkan syariat Allah dalam diri. Masa yang diambil untuk menghabiskan bacaan hanyalah satu jam lebih sahaja. Oleh itu, aku sarankan kepada anda sekalian, tidak rugi memperuntukkan masa untuk membaca kerana manfaatnya terlalu besar.

Karyanya jauh berbeza dengan novelis-novelis islamik yang lain seperti Abu Hassan Morad dan Habiburrahman el-Shirazy (Kang Abik). Penulisannya sangat indah, menyentuh hati, membangkitkan semangat, dan memberi pedoman kepada penulis. Tunjang kekuatan karya-karyanya bukanlah cinta insani semata-mata, tetapi ia mengajar kita hidup dalam suasana Tarbiyyah; mencipta dan mengekalkan ummah yang terdidik dengan ajaran Islami sepenuhnya.*

Buku ni, memang 'highly recommended' bagi mereka yang nak bahagia bila berumah tangga nanti, bagi mereka yang pernah dilamar, atau mungkin bakal dilamar, bagi mereka yang pernah bercouple, sedang bercouple dan mereka-mereka yang 'frust' bercinta jugak bagi mereka yang belum pernah bercinta dan sedang mencari-cari cinta seolah lelaki sebagai teman menuju redha Ilahi. Di dalamya, terdapat beberapa tips yang kukira sungguh signifikan sekali dalam meniti arus modenisasi kini..

Antara tips yang dapat dikongsi, TIPS MENANGAI CINTA REMAJA

1. Tegas dengan prinsip diri yang berpandukan agama
2. Meletakan MISI HIDUP yang JELAS
3. Bersahabat dengan rakan-rakan sejantina yang soleh
~ (ikhwah berkawan dengan ikhwah, akhowah berkawan degan akhowat) ~
4. Mengekang hawa nafsu.
~ boleh diusahakan dengan banyakkan berpuasa ~
5. Menyibukkan diri dengan hobi dan minat yang berfaedah.
~sibukkan diri dengan aktiviti dakwah. ~
6. Akrab dengan Allah dalam ibadah dan kehidupan
~sentiasa cuba dekatkan diri dengan Allah dalam segenap waktu. Banyakkan amalan sunnat seperti zikir, baca Al-Quran, solat sunnat, bangun tahajud dan sebagainya

Antara lagi yang menarik,

Bahaya cinta sebelum kawin

• Pasti kelak diriku ibarat lembu yang ditarik hidung oleh nafsu.
• Menyibukkan hati merindui makhluk yang belum halal bagiku seumpama membuka pintu bagi syaitan mencucuk jarumnya untul melupakan atau menjauhkan aku daripada-Nya. ~ semakin jauh dengan cahaya petunjuk ...
  
• Hati akan terseksa dengan barah rindu
• Rindu palsu akan membelenggu minda hingga ia terjajah dan terhina di bawah jajahan syaitan
• Cinta lalai akan menyebabkanku alpa daripada mempersiapkan diri untuk keperluan dunia dan akhirat
• Aku boleh menjadi tak rasional berfikir jika benar-benar mabuk cinta
• Fitnah cinta ibarat racun yang akan membunuh akal, jiwa dan perasaan
• Jiwa terganggu dalam menilai mana yang baik mana yang buruk untuk diriku
• Jika aku dan dia berjaya melangkah ke alam rumah tangga nescaya ia terbina atas dasar maksiat yang mengundang parah kepada paribadi zuriat kami pastinya.
  

Nak lagi?
Cepat pergi beli di kedai buku berdekatan.

Kisah dalam buku ini, aku yakin dan percaya bukan idealistik semata, namun ia boleh menjadi realiti andai kita memilih untuk merealisasikannya - iaitu menghidupkan As-sunnah.

Banyak iktibar dan mutiara pengajaran yang dapat diambil sebagai pedoman dalam meniti arus kehidupan ini lebih-lebih lagi sebagi seorang remaja kerana ujian di usia remaja ini sememangnya mencabar iman dan taqwa. Gemilangnya sesuatu ummah itu ialah apabila para pemudanya yang termasuk remaja mempunyai susuk peribadi yang mantap dan mapan. Nafsu dapat dikawal dengan iman dan taqwa maka kebinasaan dapat dihindari.

Selaku seorang muslimah, yang juga sedang meniti alam remaja, tidak dinafikan ujian 'cinta' sememangnya ujian yang sinonim pada kebanyakan remaja. Berapa ramai yang mampu mempertahankan sebuah prinsip demi Allah dan Rasul? Sama-sama kita renung kembali jauh ke dalam diri. Moga ada perubahan yang dapat kita lakukan dalam hidup setelah membaca buku ini.

*Mutaba'ah amal ialah satu tingkatan amal yang berjadual. Misalnya, kita letak sasaran untuk solat berjemaah sekurang-kurangnya 3 daripada 5 waktu dan solat awal waktu sekurang-kurangnya 4 daripada 5 waktu. 'Target' ini diletak bagi meningkatkan amalan dari semasa ke semasa. Mahu Info lanjut pasal mutaba'ah amal?

Cuba layari,
http://moojahid.blog.friendster.com
http://karismadaerahpetaling.blogspot.com

**dipetik dari ~http://purify-educate.blogspot.com

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The happy feeling

Today my day starts better. However, my flaw, I don’t get for tahajud. But at least, better than yesterday. Well, today is the IELTS result to release. Should be nervous isn’t it? But I feel cool bout it. Not so worry, just I don’t really thinking much about it. How I can be not worrying bout it? Well, I really surrender to Him. To me, I’ve done my part. Let Allah do the rest. Put all those hope and believe to Him. Keep believe and have faith, He knows the best. I SURRENDER!

Even tak sempat for tahajud, I struggle to get subuh jemaah. Struggling to have jemaah with Awin my next door friend. Not really next actually, but just opposite my house. Alhamdulillah, sempat. When I called her, she just about to pray. Lucky to get jemaah because last few days I missed it! Due to my lateness and she had prayed. A bit frustrating and what a waste! After that, I manage to stick with the ‘mutaba’ah ‘amal’. While going down the stairs, I start to listen to IKIM. Before this, I never open IKIM in the morning and hear the slot ‘tafsir quran’. But after one sahabat suggest me to listen, it is an encouragement for me to listen. But it is almost after a week the suggestion, I manage to hear it. I don’t know.

It seems I’m living in a ‘cave world’ which really under develops. I know it’s my own fault. I don’t really listen to radio, not really read newspaper, Current news? I feel dumb when people talk what happen currently because I don’t updated with any current issues(since not taking world issue anymore. Feel so bad know nothing). My world looks like ‘isolated’ even I’m living in urban city. Perhaps, the one that live in kampung2, know better than me. No joke.

Well, along the way, I listen to the slow. The kupasan really good. The ustaz talked about akidah(faith).
What I can still remember, he say about
- Musyarokah
- Muroqobah
- Muhasabah
- Mu’aqabah
- Muhajadah

Let me explain. Musyarotah means that, you need to put limitation and restriction to have faith. It just like an expecatation. Like to have contract with people, you need to fulfil some restriction. SO, it’s the same thing like we and Allah too, where you mush have some sort of promise to fulfil. If not, you can’t have a good and strong akidah or faith. Maybe the restriction could be i.e. : in whatever it is, you must have faith in Him no matter what circumstances it be.

Then, bout muroqabah. Is the close relation between us and Allah. When we have some sort of promise and restriction, then we need to feel that He is very close to us and always with us. That’s the step to have strong faith. Because only the strong faith that will save us in life as anything it comes, we will not be ruined.

Next, about muhasabah. It is being storied that in past history the sahabat really judge them. As saidina Umar said, “judge yourself before you being judge later” Like saidina Umar, He judge himself very particular. I cant really remember the example of his action but he really strict and discipline.That’s the story of sahabat. What about us? What about me? In fact, I don’t really judge myself so much.

Huhu..Seldomly. Too bad. Now, I’m in a way trying, and struggling to upgrade iman to higher level. Maybe by doing these things. Ada hikmah ditakdirkan dengar radio IKIM pagi ni! Dapat tips yang sangat2 bermanfat. ^_^ Alhamdulillah. Thanx to the one that suggest me to listen to it. I almost ‘forgot’ about ikim or any radio these days. In fact, when being asked, it is almost a month I don’t listen to radio I guess. Betapa katak di bawah tempurungnye laa..huhu

Mujahadah pulak, xberapa ingat la plak kupasan dia.
Anyway bout IELTS result. A significant event!
Happy???!
After I took the result, and I saw my result. Overall bandscore. That’s the first thing I looking for! 6.5. Fuhh..alhamdulillah. selamat aku. Then, I saw each component. and saw. writing 5.5.aiseh…asal r ade cacat nih.. then, trying to generate positive mind, ala..xpela..memang soklan dia haritu pun ak mmg kontang idea. Tak tau nak tulis aper. Tanye ak pasal ekonomi. Tapi mmg sgt general je soklan dia. Cuma ak ni, takder idea nak tulis ape. Lg 5 minit da nak habis masa baru tersedar, aku tulis ciput. Tak cukup quota. Terkial2 nak tambah word. Ayat mmg berterabur. Yeah..no wonder the result could be like that. Xper r..redho..nak wat camner. Idea comes from READING. And me? I’m not reading at all! I mean for general knowledge. I knew myself. I have very limited knowledge about general knowledge and some sort of current issue. Mmg kantoi r!

Then, sister yg tukang bagi result tu kata kat aku, mmg pedas r kena. Dia kata mcm ‘itula..u lainkali dah tau, patut ambik kelas. Don’t take risk.”..hmm dalam hati aku pedas terasa. Xpe2..takdir Allah. I register for re-sit on the same day I took the result. Tak fikir panjang. Fikir nak amik balik as soon as possible and lepas! That’s all.

So, aku pun, da tak tau nak fikir ape dah. Hmm..sebelum ambik result, mmg baca macam2..baca yasin, ratib n so on..mintak bagi tenang, and dapat terima apa je yang dah tersedia untuk aku. Doa yg biasa aku baca ari2

“Ya Allah, jika apa yang telah engkau takdirkan bagiku hari ini, maka jadikanlah aku redho dan mendapat petunjuk. Jadikan aku redha(can accept) apa sahaja yang telah engkau tentukan untukku hari ni”

Sebelum amik result, member2 bagi support r. kata insyaAllah ok..aku pun masa tu bersemangat r nak gi amik result IELTS.
Siap kata, “toronto…here I come!..”(poyo gler. Bajet mcm dpt 7 je..)

I took it juz before MR.Ben class. Sbb result kua pukul 9. ak pegi dlm 9.05.masa tu takder r plak dubdab2 sgt..cool jek..hmm..before amik result, gi draw duit siap2. sbb bajet nak terus hantar result tu gi Toronto n york n perhaps Carleton. Courier express dlm RM90 ++ per univ. kalau dua dah RM100 ++..huhu..

After that, pergila menjemput result kat IDP yg sejengkal jek dari ATM tu. Bila da tgk result, terkedu r plak. Tak tau nak fikir ape. Confirm r nak hantar Toronto tak lepas. Oh harapan menggunung ku punah sementara..mungkin terpaksa ucapkan ..bye2 to UofT. Sadis. Tapi masa dpt result, tu, ntah r. tak tau patut rs ape. Yg penting only one thing that I know, I feel so relieve! But a relief just a relief. The feeling, feels nothing. Bersyukur, yes. Syukur sebab lepas. Tapi, masa tu mcm tak tau patut ke rasa happy atau pun x. sebab writing dpt 5.5 which is not my expectation.

quote Hamlet plak masa tu..
“to be, or not to be..” hohoho

Dengan perasaan yg relief and a bit disappointed for the writing part, aku pun masuk kelas. Hmm..masuk kelas LAN, sume da pakat tanyer. Ak mmg xbleh sembunyik..ckp je r..
The first thing I heard good response about my result,
“sedap mata memandang..” and congratulations

Then, MR. Ben,
“This is a good news isn’t it! Lets see how you doin with previous one. Your listening is improved, your reading is very good. Level up. Your writing maybe a bit reduce, and your speaking is great. You achieve what you want. And this is so good.”

Okay. After I heard that, then I start to feel, yeah..this not too bad. (I’m one that hard to feel satisfy. Need someone to tell me that I’ve done well)
Then I met MR. Collin Shafer along the way. Just tegur him from far as I’ve saw him from long way,

“Hi Mr. Collin. How are you..?”

“hey..ain..how are you doing?”
(xjawab pun soklan aku..hampeh..)

“I’m good.”

“really?. What’s your latest update?"

“oh..I just took my IELTS …”

“I saw many book in your hands..”

“Oh yeah..this is for my CCA research. Law subject. I choose topic War and International Law..”

“sorry. what you say just now?? When I asked about your latest update?”

“oh..I just took my IELTS. Do you know IELTS?”

He just nodded his head and looks like he really have know idea what its all about. And I show her my result that written on the top INTERNATIONAL ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEST SYSTEM and show my result to him from the transparent file.

Listening 6.5 Reading 7.5 Writing 5.5 Speaking 7.0 Overall bandscore 6.5

“oh..erm..this is IETLS..well, my writing quite bad..”
“Oh..your reading quite high. That’s good. But for writing, don’t worry. There’ still lot of rooms of improvement..”

Dia kata sambil kenyit mata kat aku..Ya Allah…sabar je la..menahan rasa..muka da r mcm beckham. Tinggi mcm tiang gol(bak kata kakak aku)

And then, I met Pei San at the stairs, and just tegur her by telling my result released already. She really excited to know. I don’t want to show, and I said,
“not so good la. My writing sucks!”

but she trying to grab it from me and want to see it. Her expression really like impressed with the result. But then she said, “eh u need to retake back. Ur writing ..not reach the requirement..”

“ala.. no need. Mr. Ben said I can send both my ielts result just to show my ability that I able to write. Because previous one I got 6.”

Then, blah. Dari jauh, she shout.. “Ain…!”

I toleh, then she said, “CONGRATULATION!”

so cheerful. That’s nice to hear! Then I said, “Thank you!” ^^

Just after that, I got message from Husna. Asking bout my result too. I reply by saying syukri Allah. Thanks for her support and doa. Hope can get study together in Canada with her. InsyaAllah.

After that, my law class, Mr.Hanna.

Come to my turn to consult about the research.

He asked me, “how’s your progress?”

Tersengih2 mcm kerang busuk, I said, “ so far, so good..” sarcastic. –padahal tak buat ape2 lagi pun.

Then, he called me for consultation about my topic. I show him my mind map that not fully complete, then I told him about my argument for the topic which is
“international law has failed to stop the war!”

“is that only your argument? Are you referring to any specific area? Or just war in general?”

“err..yeah..generally war..erm..like the Israeli war in Gaza, …”

“oh..yeah..another war is?”

“erm…err..what else eh..”

mmg gelabah da..tak tau..amik ko ..amik topic perang2..da r lemah sal benda2 ni..da tak tau nak kelentong..
Then, dia try bagi klu..

"erm..sorry Mr.Hanna..I don't complete my research yet..well, it is

"yes. you need to make research more..it is iraq war..and the palestin..you can put in two example and try to extract from those. You can have two and not necessarily three argument. And also you can tell about what happen in Somalia right now. ? It’s disaster! There so many people being killed. And no one can stop it”

“oh..so ..maybe I need to list all the war..”

“you not necessarily make a list. I don’t want a list but..”

“yeah..i mean like from the list of war, then I try to proof that how the international law has failed …”

“oh..exactly. that’s what you should do and then you can look the thousand of war in Africa. What happen? It’s disaster! There so many people being killed. And no one can stop it.”

“Yeah..”

“and your argument might be the important thing. The one that important..”

Muka mr.hanna masa tu..hmm..sgt serius, n mmg mcm ape jek..

“yeah..should be important one..”, I said.

Dah tak tau nak ckp pe dah..
“erm, is it that’s all?”

“yeah. That’s all. Keep moving..”

After the class, I told him about my IELTS result because before this, he really eager to know. Dia sangat2 excited..he looks really really happy. Sangat2 excited.
He said,
“this is the grade that you want right? I am really happy for you..”
“err..yeah..”

Then, dia hulur tangan kat aku, nak ucap congratulation. Aku masa tu, tergamam jap. Aku hulur tangan gak, tapi aku hulur tak sampai salam, aku just buat2 mcm ak salam, tapi aku tahan. Then aku kata, “I’m sorry..”

Dia pun paham2 je aku punya body language, terus dia tarik tangan balik and show thumbs up.

“congratulations!”
Hmm..mr.Hanna. ‘mengancam’ sungguh!

Well, this is some of the story which can I it consider as ‘success’? Perhaps.
The thing is, today I don’t feel happy or so happy, or once to feel happy, but by looking to people that happy with me, that makes me happy!

Betul. Aku pun tak tau aku rasa hepi ke x. patut ke rasa hepi? Tapi bila dgr ucapan2 yang memberangsangkan, n org keep say congratulation to me, and with some teacher that very excited and happy with my results, I feel happy for that. Itu satu benda yang aku rasa pelik untuk hari ni. I’m not really happy with the result but other people makes me to feel happy about it. This is good I think.

At least, I experienced some things in my life. I have experience how it feel when I got result that not good and result that consider good but not enough(for me).

Here two things.

Last time, before when got the first IELTS result, and I don’t ‘pass’ it. Undeniable a bit sad, and I feel so envy and jealous with my friends that ‘pass’ it with flying colours and I’m not. But that time, I keep the patience lies in me. I cry and cry until there’s no more tears to cry(just only the day I got the result). A bit depress that time but I accept the fate and accept it as a ‘test’ from Him. This is the opportunity for me to strengthen my faith and my believe in Him. I suppose.
Yes, it is. A tarbiyah from Him.

Tak mudah patah semangat!

Just like how I met Miss Christie before my IELTS speaking test which I still remember,

She said to me,
“There is two types of people When something not goes as what we want it be, some people will just give up but there are people that will keep trying and trying. And I’m happy that you are the one that keep trying and not give up.. get back to the horse, Ain!”

“oh yeah..erm..what was that?”

“well, we will say get back to the horse. Which means that when something not goes like we expect it to be, just get back on the track back..”

“oh..okay..”

Yeah. The spirit of never never never give up in me, should lies in me forever.
And today, I could feel how it feel when people happy with me and people keep congratulate. I feel how it feels. How good the feeling is. To get good claim. I hope this spirit and enthusiasm will be last long as I will take this as momentum. It is really good to hear some encouragement from others.

Yes, I really need MOMENTUM at this time. Really needed. The lost ‘spirit’ in me, should be in me right now.

Today, not only a person, but most people around me. That makes me feel good and I believe that’s a good thing which I should try to keep it up. By stay focus, have faith, belief and confidence. ^_^

Alhamdulillah. Thanks Ya Allah for Your Bless.
Wallahu’alam

p/s:well, this is also a test from Allah. Test me. Test me to be HUMBLE. Don’t feel proud, don’t feel so good actually. Need to be controlled. Yeah. Really really test me. Takut ter’riak’ seh. Takut terasa ujub. Nauzubillah. Takutt…T_T

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Bismillah..

I’ve got my IELTS result! - re-sit one…

Well, my result really meriah!! Just like my past SPM result...huhu...

I still remember. How bad and ‘good’ my SPM result is. Have ABC...

Well the same thing for IELTS. Variety bands! How interesting. I was like “wow...resultku that so so meriah...”

I am relieved yet not so happy. When I saw one of the components not reach the expectation. I don’t really feel good about it. But one of my friends that saw my result said, “Hmm...result ni sedap mata memandang..sedap untuk ditengok”..

To me, yeah..maybe..but one of it a bit disappointed.

Well, what did I expect from myself for writing huh?

Qurratul, you know how you are. You really know how you are that not really READ (my biggest problem), how you expect to write better? Well, that’s my flaw and it is really undeniable that writing is really my weakness. In order to convey the ideas to the reader, my writing quite terrible In addition with very limited knowledge(to gain idea), then lack of exposure. . Oh Yeah. .fair enough. You deserve it. You cannot compare with other.

Anyway, Alhamdulillah. Thanks to Allah for everything. This time I really berserah. (Dunno what in English. someone help me!)

A bit encourage after I consult with Mr. Ben about my result.

Good to hear, he said it is good news! (Even I’m not so sure whether it’s good news though, to have 5.5 in writing)

I don’t feel good about it but he said, “You can show your previous result that can show your ability. You did quite will in the past. That enough to prove your ability as you retake the test again. ”

Yeah. I never think of it. Maybe I should send both my IELTS result.

Well, well, well, this is just a TEST. That really tests me. So here it is. Why should I bother about the result? After all, it just signifies what I did. It tells me my weakness and so on so that I keep work for it. Isn’t that a good thing? (Trying to be positive). And some more, this is a ‘gift’ from Allah.

This result also a ‘test’ from Him. Whether I’ll be a grateful person or not.

Here, I feel glad for everything. Glad that Allah gives me such a test that shows He loves me. He wants me to be better. He wants me to get better! That’s all what it is!

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This post, reminding to myself, as I always sometimes 'lost' and 'soluble' with this world. Therefore, here share some tips for us to work for our iman. Let's strengthen our iman in a way that we can achieve His bless. Only by iman then we can get to Jannah ~ Heaven~ insyaAllah ^^
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful & Compassionate

From a Past Post by Shaykh Nazim Mangera:

�If a sick person doesn't realize that she is sick, the doctor will never be able to cure her.
So realizing that there is a spiritual sickness is a sign that your faith is strong.
I have the following words of advice for you:

Al-Haakim reported in al-Mustadrak, and al-Tabaraani reported in al-Mu'jam, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

�Faith wears out in the heart of any one of you just as clothes wear out, so ask Allaah to renew the faith in your hearts.
� (Reported by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak, 1/4;. Al-Haythami said in Majma al-Zawaa'id, 1/52, �It was reported by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer and its isnaad is saheeh.)

This Hadith tells us that our faith will become weak but we will have to strengthen it with various actions and different good deeds. If we try to implement the following, Insha Allah it will help us all.

On a weekly basis, try to attend some Halaqah or an Islamic gathering.
That is a great way of keeping the battery of Iman and actions charged.

A good suggestion would be that you join some weekend or evening Islamic course or something of that sort. You will find good company there which will be a means of strengthening your faith and Iman. And when you feel like you are all burnt out�, there will be others there who will guide you and help you out and get you back up on your feet again.

Try to read some portion of the Quran everyday and make Zikr of Allah.
It will not be a bad idea to start off the day by reciting Surah Yaseen.

Try to have a daily Halaqah of reading from a Hadith book at home. The most widely used Hadith book in English is probably Riyadh us Salihin. Set aside a time at home, and try to sit down with other family members. It does not have to be long. Even five minutes or ten minutes will suffice.

A daily dose of the words of Allah and his beloved Prophet Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam goes a long way in keeping us attached to our faith.

After prayers or whenever, try to recite as many times as possible the words which are mentioned in the following Hadith:

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
�Do not forget to say in every prayer,
�Rabbi a�'nni 'ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni 'ibaadatika
(O Allah, help me to remember You, thank You and worship You properly.).� (al-Nasaa�i, 1303)
Sometimes we commit sins which eventually make us weak in our faith.

Islam will prevent us from sins....

or sins will prevent us from Islam.

Repenting
over past sins will not be a bad idea at all.

The way we have a habit of sinning, the same way, as soon as a sin is committed, we should make a habit of seeking forgiveness for our sins. We should never procrastinate because death could over take us anytime.

You also must understand that we all go through these weaknesses. We all have those moments when we don't feel like doing anything Islamic. Faith increases and decreases. This is natural and it will happen many times in our lives.

It is important to know that if a decrease in faith leads to one neglecting one's duties or doing Haram deeds, this slackening is very serious and one must repent to Allah and start to do something about it at once.

If it does not lead to neglect of duties and doing Haram deeds, but just makes a person fall short in doing Mustahabb (recommended) deeds, for example, then a person still needs to know how to sort herself out and correct herself until she returns to the proper level of energy and strength in worship.

This is what we learn from the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), �Every deed has energy and strength, and then this energy and strength is followed by a slackening, so who's slackening is in accordance to my Sunnah he will be fine, and who's slackening is to other than that
[i.e., doing unlawful or forbidden deeds] he will be doomed.�

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The Five Levels of Prayer


Ibn al-Qayyim writes in his book al-Wabil al-Sayyib:

"When it comes to prayer, people are of five levels:

* The first is the level of the one who wrongs himself and is negligent. He does not do wudu properly, or pray at the right time or make sure he does all the necessary parts of prayer.

* The second is one who observes the outward essentials of prayer, prays on time and does wudu, but he has lost the battle against his own self and is overwhelmed with waswaas (insinuations).

* The third is one who observes the outward essentials of prayer, prays on time and does wudu, and also strives against his own self and against waswaas, but he is preoccupied with his struggle against his enemy (Shaytan), lest he steal from his prayer, so he is engaged in salah and jihad at the same time.

* The fourth is one who when he stands up to pray, he fulfils all the requirements of the prayer, and his heart is fully focused and alert lest he omit anything, and his concern is to do the prayer properly and perfectly. His heart is deeply immersed in his prayer and worship of his Lord.

* The fifth is one who does all of that, but he takes his heart and places it before his Lord, looking at his Lord with his heart and focusing on Him, filled with love and adoration, as if he is actually seeing Him. That waswaas and those thoughts diminish, and the barriers between him and his Lord are lifted. The difference between the prayer of this person and the prayer of anyone is else is greater than the difference between heaven and earth. When this person prays, he is preoccupied with his Lord and content with Him.

The first type is punishable;
the second is accountable;
the third is striving so he is not counted as a sinner;
the fourth is rewarded and
the fifth is drawn close to his Lord, because he is one of those for whom prayer is a source of joy.

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Kena fokus betul-betul

Jangan tenSion masa study

Selalu solat hajat, solat tahjud dan sunat yang lain dan last sekali

Banyakkan berdoa pada Allah dan tawakkal padaNYA sokmo.

Maka, jadilah kita pelajar cemerlang dunia dan akhirat.. :)INSYAALLAH


“Life like an education. The final examination for us is when we will meeting with Allah. That is our final destination”

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I can only thank Allah for this blessing on me

For giving me sakina (calmness) in this tranquility

Thank you ya Allah for the test on me.

I should be grateful that Allah want give this test to me.
Hey why me? Why not others? I know He knows that I can make it. I am able to take it.
Do you know how it feel, when you just don’t get what you expect?
It’s kinda sad. But I believe it also a test from Him.

My friend’s IELTS result was pretty good. Michael! One of the result that quite a shock to me. He got 8. and for speaking, he got 7. Before that, I heard his story how terrible he did. Then I just said, have faith. Who know’s there will be miracle. Because he looks like very very down. Although when we just back from the test, in the bus, he still talk about the mistakes he did. Hmm..Although I’m quite satisfied that I could answer well but it just doesn’t mean everything goes well. Sometimes what you expect it will not be as it is. Then, I said to him, “don’t worry I’ll pray for you. How much you want? 7? 8?” He said, if can 7 but if 6.5 that’s just enough. Well, I have make a special prayer after that. I don’t know. After he told me how terrible he did, I really wish that Allah can give him chance. I pray hard for him. Seriously I did. But today, a bit sad to talk about the result I got. Why he got? Why I don’t?

But I know I shouldn’t be sad. I know this is a test from Allah for me. This is just a test. I used to see my other friend, use to ask to myself..”hey how come they can pass and I’m not? What they did? I’m not too bad though..” sometimes the bad thought come to my mind. But I’ll try to accept as it is. As that is one part of iman (faith) which is ‘redho’ or in other word, accept what it is from Him. I learn that, it is also not about luck, but it consider the effort. I could say that other people work harder than me. Maybe not? I don’t know. But He knows what the best for me.

How the IELTS result test me? Yeah. It is not only about the writing, speaking, reading and listening test. But it also a test of faith and believe of me to Him. Proof? I pray for my friend, and he got 8! How powerful is that. The power of prayer. The power of God. The power of Allah. He can do anyting He wants. And me? Haha. Actually, I admit that, I just forgot to ask Him for myself. Seriously ‘forgot’. I don’t really pray much and specifically ask to Him. Even I wish, I more ask other people to pray for me rather than pray for myself. Ironic isn’t it? Yeah. I know He can just give me, even I don’t ask Him. He able to do anything. But maybe He wants to teach me, you want something, you need to ASK! Yeah..sort of. That’s one of the thing that I could consider. I need to ask more, and I believe, IELTS have strengthen my belief to Him and also my faith. Stronger my iman.

Thank you Ya Allah for this test. Even the path is different from other people, I believe that to pay for re-sit IELTS RM530 is just ‘nothing’ as compared to the ‘lesson’ that I got. The price to ‘upgrade’ my iman and yakin. Only believe in Him.

And be not infirm, and be not grieving, and you shall have the upper hand if you are believers. ~Al –Imraan 3:139~

“Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang-orang yang paling tinggi darjatnya jika kamu orang-orang yang beriman.” (Ali-Imran:139)

*******

Bila orang tanya,"IELTS camne? "

aku menjawab lemah, "tak lepas.."

aduhai..lemah terasa! sendi2 ni ibarat bergetar je rasa..ya Allah..hebatnya ujian dari-Mu..

satu tarbiyah buat diriku.

iri terasa bersama teman2 yang lepas. iri..terasa sungguh.

tapi teman2 yang lepas, aku turut tumpang gembira. cuma mengenangkan aku? oh..
takperla. buat je apa yang termampu. aku pun bakal 're-sit' balik sabtu ni. dah bayaq pon. tak ya nak pk da. nak sedey pon, tarak guna.

cuma, perasaan tu masih ada. dan aku pasti, akan hilang jua. perasaan itu akan berganti. cuma perasaan itu mahu kuabadi dan rakam di sini. kerana perasaan itu akan hilang. dan aku mahu dia hilang.

Even, I saw my friend that succeed, and I'm not yet, they always give encouragement and support. like when I asked Michael about his IELTS and the tips to be good as him ( he got 9 for listening and 8 for reading! mmg salute), he said to me.." don't worry. you will be fine..." he said 2-3 times. and he said, "don't be sad. you will be ok.just be strong " ..

oh..thank you friend for the moral support. appreciate it so much. it's kinda hard on me. I know many people expect I'm doing well. Even me, expect it to be good and super-well. But it doesn't. and I knew He made this for reasons. I knew it and I believe in Him why He makes this to me, the only thing to make me closer to Him.

Sedey jugak bila orang tanye about my IELTS. bila cakap tak lepas. fuh.. lemah je terasa. now i could feel, how it feel if i still 'main-main' , tak serius, tak sungguh-sungguh. This 'test' really teach me a lot. Cukup2lah Qurratul. Now is time to focus. Now I can feel, what If I don't throw the 'laziness' in me now, then I will be hurt tomorrow. If I don't want this to happen on me later on, then please! You really need to CHANGE! Put more EFFORT! Pray hard! Work Hard! (its not you, its me by the way. it just like i'm talking to myself)

*******

walau apa pun, hari ni aku macam punya sedikit semangat. a bit spirit from Him. starting Saturday night I begin to have flu. and getting sick from yesterday until today. Feel so terrible, my body shaking and getting drowsy. But this morning, a bit feel like want to have 'fresh start'. Well, there something good to hear from other person today about me.

I have a speaking practice with Mr. Hanna this evening and he said a lot of good things to me. Like he said, "Ain, you had improved so much! Since I met you in July last year, and now is almost April, a lot of improvement. Your fluency, comprehend, and also your speaking. You improved a lot. It is because you being 'pushed' to be in English. You have to hear English and write and understand all in English.

Well, if you really want it, thats the thing you need to do. Get into it.

Another thing we talk about toursim. There is a question in the practice about the impact of tourism other than economy. I just can think of the answer. Then he said, are you sure you can't think any other thing? I said,"Hmm..I can't think any of it.."

"That maybe because of you don't really go around to other places.."

yeah. that's true. I don't really go anywhere..

Then he started to question me few things. and try to get to his points. after all, he point out about EXPOSURE.

by meet different people, expose with different people from other places, it can broaden the mind. How it broaden the mind? By having different ways in looking at a thing. another thing is, we can have cultural exchange. increase interaction among peoples. encourage social interaction. meet them, talk to them, learn the ways and have the IDEAS..

I wish and really hope I can have the exposures! that's why I need to fly! and go to Canada. espcially to be in Toronto where many different people from other parts of the world is there.

Hmm.. Being 'exposed' .

However, technically could it be good?

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